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Marriage and Goals 

Seems a bit ferocious but when you both have goals it’s like this sometimes . We work hard together and know what each wants. We are determined to walk in our destiny. We have been through too much not to get there. 

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A Hersheys Chocolate Almond bar

First let me just say I love my children and give my all to them. However, if you have children you know they always want what you have. It’s their nature.  BUT I am that mom that will stop to get her favorite candy bar and drive slow home. I swear it’s almost the most sweetest savory peaceful snack time. I enjoy every bite. I just had to share this because I know some Moms who would look at this odd. But as I was enjoying my snack I was thinking how  good it is to have something without -can I, what do you have, why didn’t you get me, and so on. Just a Mommy thought…..

I never thought about it…

My husband and I have been friends since high school. I guess this is what allowed us to work through so many problems. In a casual conversation today he said “if you think about it, you have been the constant in my life.” I never really thought about it until today.  Through all the problems we always came back together even when I was determined to move on. He can detach from people and jobs, but not me. 

Thinking now I just wish that would have been strong enough to prevent so many hurt feelings caused by so many actions. But in the end…it has made us love stronger and harder. It’s hard to understand why people do the things they do but we love them beyond faults. 

God has a purpose for us….

Oceanview

There is something about the ocean that makes you reflect on life. It makes you thankful and makes you meditate on what you have. 

My husband and I had a little time this weekend by the ocean without the kids. We just celebrated each other and had uninterrupted time. 

He said something that very relevant. The ocean is strong, aggressive,  peaceful, demands respect, and it’s filled with life. 

As soon as he said this I thought of marriage,love, and relationships. A marriage is strong, full of life, demands respect if the individuals do, you find peace in each other, and you are strong for each other. Love can flow and breathe life to you just as the ocean to its inhabitants. 

Just a thought….

Trust

Trust is such a small word with a huge impact. We trust people for different reasons depending on our relationship with them.  We have different trust expectations with co workers, spouses, children, or doctors.  In many cases, when someone does something to damage that trust we move on and learn a life lesson. However, when it comes to our spouse and trust, the rules change.

When our spouse does something to cause us not to trust in most cases we forgive. Many of us take our vows to heart and really try to abide by them.  The question becomes how many times do we forgive and what must be done to rebuild that trust.  Many of us have experienced or know someone who has been hurt.  Whether it is a small lie or as big as infidelity. How we react to the situation at first can  predict  if it will happen again. Many times it happens again because the person doing the harmful or unthinkable feels like they will continue to be forgiven.  That is when we have to make a decision to not accept it. Even if that means giving an ultimatum or leaving.

Sometimes there are underlying issues within that person. That does not mean they should be allowed to keep hurting you. Speaking from experience my husband broke my trust a few times and on that final time he realized I was distancing myself from him.  He began to change and  work toward my trust again. This time wasn’t like before. He was actually doing what he said he would do. He was home where he should be, when he was suppose to be. It was no more wondering where he was. It took about a year for me to really trust him and he still follows through presently.

One of the hardest acts of trust to give someone is the trust after infidelity. The thought is always there of “what if.”  If your spouse is not willing to fight and prove themselves to you; unfortunately they are not ready to be faithful. One thing I always say is go with your gut. That woman intuition is a very powerful tool.  Sometimes it takes us places we wish we didn’t go because it leave reality waving to us, but hardly ever leads us astray.

When you have built a foundation with someone it becomes harder to walk away but you must also think of your well being. Only you know how much you can handle. I will say one secret is keeping family and friends out of your business as you cope and deal with the situation. As much as you may want to vent, others opinion will not help you. If anything you become more confused. Now if  you have that one friend that you know will support you and  stick with you, that  may be the only person to confide in. But working through marital or relationship problems should be between God, you and your spouse.

This topic will come up several more times in upcoming post….