Trust is such a small word with a huge impact. We trust people for different reasons depending on our relationship with them.  We have different trust expectations with co workers, spouses, children, or doctors.  In many cases, when someone does something to damage that trust we move on and learn a life lesson. However, when it comes to our spouse and trust, the rules change.

When our spouse does something to cause us not to trust in most cases we forgive. Many of us take our vows to heart and really try to abide by them.  The question becomes how many times do we forgive and what must be done to rebuild that trust.  Many of us have experienced or know someone who has been hurt.  Whether it is a small lie or as big as infidelity. How we react to the situation at first can  predict  if it will happen again. Many times it happens again because the person doing the harmful or unthinkable feels like they will continue to be forgiven.  That is when we have to make a decision to not accept it. Even if that means giving an ultimatum or leaving.

Sometimes there are underlying issues within that person. That does not mean they should be allowed to keep hurting you. Speaking from experience my husband broke my trust a few times and on that final time he realized I was distancing myself from him.  He began to change and  work toward my trust again. This time wasn’t like before. He was actually doing what he said he would do. He was home where he should be, when he was suppose to be. It was no more wondering where he was. It took about a year for me to really trust him and he still follows through presently.

One of the hardest acts of trust to give someone is the trust after infidelity. The thought is always there of “what if.”  If your spouse is not willing to fight and prove themselves to you; unfortunately they are not ready to be faithful. One thing I always say is go with your gut. That woman intuition is a very powerful tool.  Sometimes it takes us places we wish we didn’t go because it leave reality waving to us, but hardly ever leads us astray.

When you have built a foundation with someone it becomes harder to walk away but you must also think of your well being. Only you know how much you can handle. I will say one secret is keeping family and friends out of your business as you cope and deal with the situation. As much as you may want to vent, others opinion will not help you. If anything you become more confused. Now if  you have that one friend that you know will support you and  stick with you, that  may be the only person to confide in. But working through marital or relationship problems should be between God, you and your spouse.

This topic will come up several more times in upcoming post….


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